I’m dead

---

Just before a new redneck had his first parachute jump, his sergeant reminded
him, "Count to ten, and then pull the first rip cord. If it snarls, pull the
second rip cord for your auxiliary chute. After you land, our truck will pick
you up."

The paratrooper took a deep breath and jumped. He counted to ten and pulled
the first cord. Nothing happened.

He pulled the second cord. Again, nothing happened.

As he plummeted to the ground, he said to himself, "I'll bet that truck won't
be there either!"




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